we're on indian time now. the tea should come in.. about two hours.

as we sped along the streets of pondicherry and explained to a disgruntled receptionist how to spell my dad's first name, i reminded my stomach full of butterflies that what was happening is inevitable for westerners in india.

at some point all westerners visiting india have to go to the hospital. it's like initiation into the chaos that is india and it's sanitation issues.

for the past week i've been dealing with styes on both my eyelids. it started out last week when i woke up and it felt like i had been punched in my right eye. i figured it was a bug bite or something and would clear up after a few days of putting hot rags on it. well.. that didn't work. thursday i woke up and both my eyes were swollen and burning. i tried warm cloths, boric acid solutions, and keeping my eyes as clean as possible, but they just got worse and by sunday morning i was in a taxi on my way to a siddha medicine specialist in pondicherry. dr. l gave me ervatamia floral eye drops, sandhanathi compound oil, and aloe gel medicated in sukmara extract capsules. i took them all sunday, but by nighttime i was in tears and calling my dad to hear a familiar, comforting voice. today i went to the hospital (basically like going to the doctor here) and saw an optometrist, who prescribed some antibiotics and was really reassuring.

hopefully this will all clear up within the week, but right now i have like three styes on my eyelids and they SUCK. i've never gotten them before, but dr. l told me it's fairly common for people coming from temperate climates to get them for the first time in places with more tropical weather. i wanted to give the herbal medicine a try and dr. l was REALLY knowledgeable and helpful, but i needed someone to guarantee some pain relief... oh well, enough about all that.

so, i just got back from chidambaram, which is along the eastern coast of india and south of auroville. we stayed there one night, but the town left quite an impression on everyone. let's just say people saw a topless woman in what appeared to be the beginning of a hindu, sacrificial ceremony at the temple and someone got a firecracker thrown near them amidst a wedding precession through the streets downtown.. chidambaram was hoppin'.

before that we visited trichy, thanjavur, swammimalai, and kumbakonan. my favorite place was probably trichy because of the temples we visited there- the rock fort temple and the sri rangam temple. the rock fort temple is breath-takingly beautiful. i first spotted it as we drove into the city in our huge van that screams "TOURISTS!!!!". out of the mess of smog and uproar, my eyes landed on a huge rock formation spiraling out of the edge of the city. it towered over the brightly painted buildings and announced itself with impressive, shining temple adornments. when someone said, "oh! that's where we are visiting later on..." i almost could not contain my excitement.

the picture above is of the rock fort temple. the photo fails to fully capture the fantastic city view you get from atop the rock and the hauntingly ancient, romantic feeling it gives the city, but it does give you an idea of what it's like to see it off in the distance for the first time.. you cannot help but climb the thousands of stairs to the top in a trance, as you pass my monkeys and elderly priests in skirts, ash smeared on their wrinkly foreheads and fall silent at the sight of the city below when you reach the room at the rock's apex. there below you the beauty of india stretches out before your feet. i saw patches of lush greenery spotted with cows on the fringes of town and dirty, city roofs covered in pictures of local indian stars and starlettes.

dr. v, the 75-year old art historian who traveled with us, told us that you can find anything's opposite in india and that's certainly what i saw while scanning all of trichy on top of the rock fort temple. india is a special place. despite swollen eyelids, drama within our little community in auroville, and seeing my life flash before me everytime i ride in an indian taxi, i still see SO MUCH beauty in india's crowded streets and expansive rice fields.

it's nice to be back in auroville- sleeping in my own bed and eating as much granola as my heart desires, but i honestly cannot wait to do more traveling around southern india. i can hear the caves in hampi calling my name!

i hope everyone who is reading is well (despite pulled hamstrings, swollen eyes, flus, fatigue from studying/ partying, and all..)! you are all in my thoughts! and those thoughts are always positive!

"he even dances like a tai chi teacher.."

GOOD NEWS! ...it's officially monsoon season!

last night it POURED and the thunder was louder than i could ever had imagined. this thunder does not produce the distant, sharp "crack" noise that i'm used to. it first announces itself with an overwhelming rumble that shakes your whole hut and then crescendoes into a huge explosion of sound. the brightness of the lightning does not quite match the intensity of the sound that assaults your poor eardrums, but it is an impressive sight as well. the whole hazy sky is lit up in front of you, and all you can do is hope that your keet-roof hut isn't THAT flammable... right?

then in the morning, bleary-eyed and yawning because the thunder kept you up all night, you walk over to the bathroom before yoga and discover that you really shouldn't be so worried about that rain... because it's not so bad compared to what awaits you in your kitchen and bathrooms.

the sinks of the bathrooms are FULL of half dead, squirming tertiary termites (according to Thlaloc, our tai chi teacher) and that's not even the worst part. the open-air kitchen/dining space has acquired a new carpet. you think.. "oh golly, it sure looks like a whole lotta leaves washed into the kitchen". upon closer inspection, you realize that the 10' x 10' area is... squirming. the termites, seeking refuge, have piled themselves up onto our dining area floor. i'm going to have to say that this occassion ranks high on my "things that make my stomach turn" list, haha..

so, we swept all the bugs out of the dining area.. and hopefully there won't be any other infestations on that level again. i may never leave my mosquito net fortress of a bed if that happens again. for real. you might be sitting there laughing and saying "oh no, just wait what will crawl all up in your space..", but i'm assuming that the worst of the creepy-crawly onslaught is over. hopefully.

(long sigh)

ok, so i have time to write this morning because i am doing more research on wastewater management and waiting a while to go check the algae. i'm hoping the rain lets up and i can assess the damage to the algae.

this past weekend was off the wall. i (and all the girls here basically) have been feeling a tad bit restrained by our teachers/guardians. everything has been planned for us (dinners, dance classes, etc.), which is FANTASTIC, but at this point we are all craving a bit more independence. so this past weekend we went into the city (Pondicherry) and had dinner at a really pretty, really french beachfront hotel/restaurant. beer has never tasted so good, haha. the beach in pondicherry is so incredibly busy on saturday nights. there are vendors selling little glow-in-the-dark gadgets, roasted nuts, prints of indian god(desses), and other little trinkets and other characters all along the rocky coast. when we were eating dinner we watched this 10 year old girl walk and BOUNCE along a tightrope on the beach as well. all while carrying a ceramic pot on her head. crazyness.

later on we went to an auroville full moon dance that was pretty fun, but we soon got tired and started to bike home. on the way home one girl (jenny) and i heard the all too familiar sounds of thumping techno beats blaring from a far-off stereo somewhere in the woods of auroville. as everyone biked back, we looked at each other and both decided we needed to find where they were coming from. so we biked around for about 20 minutes, stopping to listen for the music and then biking down various roads that seemed to lead in its direction. finally we turned down a small dirt road and the music got REALLY loud. we biked up a windy hill and saw flashing lights through some bushes to our right- excited, we sped up, turned a corner, and found quite a surprising sight.

in the middle of the woods we found the youth of auroville dancing inside what looked like india's version of a club under a keet roof. blasting lil' wayne, snoop dogg, reggaeton, and the occassional trance song, young people around our age were dancing on tables, smoking cigarettes, and crowding by the "dj booth". i just kept thinking, "holy shit, i can't believe we found this! what the hell is going on?!"

we had finally found the party in auroville and we were pretty f**kin' ecstatic. we danced for a while and talked to a couple aurovillians, but soon realized that everyone knew each other and most people were just doing there own thing. so far it seems like there are many aurovillians who want to keep auroville uber exclusive and then there are those who are very welcoming. so, we biked back, promising our one welcoming host that we'd surely return another weekend. i'm still reeling from that find, haha.. i mean, techno parties in the woods?

oh man, last night was pretty cool too. we met up with a large group of teenage girls from dehli and made dinner at solitude farm. some girls taught them to hula and i tried to teach some body percussion (that's right.. body percussion). you just might think i took a side trip to kenya next time you see me and i pull out some african body percussion... no joke.
i'm totally joking... although i did learn some body percussion. it is fun as hell though and i hope to learn some more soon.

ah man, i need to go be more productive now..

i miss you all and hope you are enjoying the fall foliage!

white girl in a sari.

well hey there U.S.A.!

oh man, i have so much to talk about yet again. and yet i have so little time to write because now i have... dun dun dun... an internship! the actual work has begun. oh shit!

so today i woke up bright and early for yoga at 6:15 A.M. when i was in the "downward facing dog" pose i felt this fuzzy, grungy creature sit up against my heels and as i looked back i realized it was... Sugar! sugar is jason and l'aura's new puppy and she has been intruding on our yoga circle every morning. we are now using her as the ultimate test of our concentration. my dilemma: should i concentrate on my breathing and posture or should i stare adoringly at the two month old puppy chewing on my yoga mat??!

then i blasted some music in the shower from my discman and speaker set to wake myself and everyone else up a little bit more. after that i cycled off to C.S.R. to do some measurements on the algae there. my service learning project/internship for the past several days has been to watch over the new algae growing in the wastewater treatment system demo there. the system basically consists of a large cement basin that has six compartments (all at graduated levels, each one is higher than the next) filled with several types of algae collected from lakes in neighboring towns. a water pump sends water down the different levels of algae in the basin all day long (keeping the algae covered in about 1-5 cm of water at any given time). my job is to bike there three times a day to make sure the pump is running, measure the water levels, add more water if needed, measure the temperature of each compartment in the basin, feed the algae nutrients, and note the weather conditions and availability of power supply.

here are some of the problems i have been running into:
(1) the electrity in auroville shuts off OFTEN (about three hours in the early afternoon, an hour or two in the evening, and then at various other times throughout the day additionally), which means no power for the pump.
(2) yesterday i rolled up on two dogs having a field day with the algae basin water. they were lapping up the water while the pump was off and when i shoo-ed one away, (s)he jumped up on the basin and planted one huge paw in the middle of the algae blooms. i then chased him/her with my notebook and got laughed at by some nearby tamil workers.
(3) one of the dogs chewed up a pipe and a filter (still works, i guess).
(4) someone shut off the power yesterday during saraswathi puja, a local festival celebrating the goddess of learning.

the guy who's heading up this project is named Lars. he's german and has been working with wastewater systems of a more traditional type for years. i'm helping him first figure out if the basin water is staying within the proper temperature range for algae growth each day and if it is stable enough to start adding actual waste water and get accurate measurements. it's really interesting stuff and i don't even mind biking out there three times a day (but it certainly makes me tired by the end of the day..). actually, i should head out there again soon to make my midday measurement...!

so, yesterday was A LOT of fun. it was the ninth day (last full day) of the saraswathi puja festival, so we all dressed up in saris (oh jeez..) and visited a nearby Ganesh temple. it felt like a really intense push into indian culture since we haven't had the chance to spend much time outside of auroville. we also visited chaturvedi, a well-known indian author and friend of our teacher, bindu. he is a spritely old fellow who talked to us about the how the indian woman's role in society has changed over the centuries. we were not told anything about him before going, so unfortunately we hadn't the time to think of questions for him, but hopefully we will visit him again. we then shuffled (limited mobility in saris..) off to a friend's sister's house in a suburb of Pondicherry. there we were given the nine grains of saraswathi puja and some bangles to remember Anandi's family by. they were really great to talk to and i will always remember how gratious they all were for sure!

when we got back i didn't even want to take the sari off right away. i shuffled over to the tibetan food buffet we had for dinner and scarfed down some mo-mos and chickpeas still in full sari. once you get the whole walking thing down saris can be pretty comfortable. surprisingly enough. i wish i had some pictures to put up, but i don't. i figured the other girls were taking enough pictures for every single person in the U.S. to get their own, so i'll see if i can copy some to bring back with me.

some people felt uncomfortable going to the temple and wearing saris, but i think our effort to show our respect/adoration for Tamil culture was received well.

well, i'm off to chase away the dogs and protect that freakin' algae..
peace!!
hope all is well!

"our individuality is dependent on others. individuality is indivisible." -satish kumar

auroville, india is a very unique place, without a doubt.
for instance, last night our college guest house guardian, martine, arranged a bellydance class for all the girls on our "campus". when the class started, our dinner guest, who is also my mentor/boss for my service learning project, joined us. only in auroville, india would you get to bellydance with your internship mentor the day before you start your internship... haha. this morning when i met up with Min, he just laughed and asked me "how was the rest of class" since he had to leave early since he was laughing too hard..

oh man, so many thoughts have been swirling through my head. our community is becoming much more intense as we get to know each other better, for sure. this is part of why we are here.. to learn how to live in an "intential community" devoted to environmental and social sustainability. people are clashing and (not to make a general statement about ALL girls/young women, but..) the gossiping has already commenced. without a doubt we have entered the part of community building that requires some ironing out of our differences. just about every other day we have meetings that last at least two hours on how to communicate more effectively and work for the common good of the group. it is exhausting and draining, but most of the girls come out smiling and ready to take on the challenge of establishing a "true community". it'll take time, and i am a TAD bit skeptical that everyone (including myself) is up for the challenge, but i am trying to trust that we will learn to trust and deal with each other in a healthy way.

besides our arduous consensus decision-making meetings, we've been doing yoga or tai chi five mornings a week at 6:15 A.M. this is without coffee in my system. i repeat: NO COFFEE. i am no doubt enjoying the yoga more than the tai chi we had last week. originally we were all going to do tai chi, but so many of us wanted yoga that the program has been changed. i even wrote a note to tai chi last week expressing my discontent, haha..
i don't have the note on me, but it goes something like:
dear tai chi,
you suck so much ass,
even though the Chinese practice you with such class.

Thlaloc (my instructor) seems to love you so,
but for right now i must go.

i swear it's not you, it must be me,
right now i just fail to see your chi.

maybe we will meet again when the time is right,
but right now i have a gut feeling i must not fight.

goodbye tai chi.
disclaimer: sorry to those of you who like tai chi. for the most part, i was just frustrated with having to do tai chi instead of yoga. i really wanted to do yoga.

now that that situation has been worked out (the tai chi-ers vs. the yogis), some tension has been lifted from the group dynamic. we are all practicing what we want now!

so, in the past week i have visited some amazing places in auroville. last week our group visited thamarai (a village school, thamarai = lotus flower in tamil), the life education center (a women's school/outreach center, AMAZING!/made me cry), upasana (a clothing designer/tsunami relief project), the isiambalam (spelling?) school for little kids, the botanical garden, sadhana forest, and others..

let me just say, sadhana forest is the SHIT. last friday we took a van to the outskirts of auroville with ross, our wild-eyed, Australian mentor/teacher/friend. after driving down a heavily forested road that seemed to stretch for miles, we arrived at a beautiful community composed of humongous keet-roof (interwoven leaves) homes and dorms that housed dozens of families and volunteers. we were ushered over to an outdoor dance area for an african dance and capoiera class with anna and tiago, a couple who are from portugal and brazil respectively (did that sentence make sense??). in the class were little tamil kids from the surrounding villages, korean teens that are a part of a traveling body percussion group (i know, random.), and various aurovillians and sadhana-ians. after sweating more than i did at the gogol bordello show, which i didn't think was possible, we were handed glasses of warm ragi (a local grain) and coconut milk and taken on a tour of one of the most surreal, awesome places i think i will ever step foot in. ben, the man who started up sadhana (i think), showed us the giant kitchen where everyone takes turn cooking and cleaning dishes, a pool that they fill with water to cool down in before draining that water for plant watering purposes (so the water they use for watering the plants everyday is first used in the pool to provide recreation for the people who live there- makes sense, right?!), the dormitories where ALL volunteers can stay for FREE (my thoughts at the point= jesus christ, this place is the shit..), and the giant keet-roof building devoted to library/hanging out/watching movies every friday night. oh yah, and the ENTIRE place is off the fuckin' grid. solar panels and bike-powered generators galore. can it get any better? yes. yes it can..

all the visitors from around the globe, the hippied-out residents, and our living routes group then gathered to watch a national geographic film about solar panels in nevada for an hour. the man who ran the projector looked like jesus and wore nothing but boxers. and as we watched the movie bats zig-zagged across the screen from time to time. that's what an auroville drive-in movie experience is like, haha..

then everyone was served a vegan feast for free. after munching on pesto covered tomatoes, french onion soup minus the cheese, sauerkraut in spicy sauce, and homemade bread, the late night festivities started to unfold. there was hula-hooping, a drum circle, spastic dancing, a body percussion group performance, and beatboxing.

as soon as we got back to the guest house i missed sadhana forest. i think i'm going to stay there for a couple weeks later on in the semester. and i think i'll be going to an african dance class later on with michelle, mayana, and some other girls from the LR group..

oh man, i still have so much to say... in brief, today i started to look into doing an internship at the Center for Scientific Research (CSR) with Min and some other people there. i want to help them out with various projects like algae wastewaster management and making butanol for fuel from that algae, helping with distributing LED lights to villagers in the area to replace dangerous kerosene lamps, and possibly working on the sustainablity display at the auroville visitor's center. i need to get the ball rollin' on my service learning project and figure out what i want to focus on. hopefully i'll figure all that out this week because i'm ready to start working more!

finally, i hope everyone is enjoying themselves at home.. i miss you guys!! i hope you are all enjoying the fall weather and indulging in some bangin' coffee/beer!

"is that human shit in the middle of the street?"

this week has been overwhelming.

today was the first day we got to sleep in and it was fantassssstic. i woke up, made tea for myself, took a long shower under the bright, blue sky, and then biked over to the "tibetan pavilion" for a lunch fundraiser to fix up the pavilion before the dalai lama's visit in january. we had veggie dumplings, grated carrot salad, fresh cucumber and tomato salad, grated cabbage and green peppers, fried noodles, and interesting soups and breads for lunch. not as much a fan on the tibetan food, not going to lie. it actually tastes bland compared to all the indian food we've been eating, haha..

then we went to the visitor's center to look at more clothing and drink iced coffee. you have no idea how intensely fantastic it was to have an American-sized glass of coffee. when i woke up the first morning i realized one of my looming fears had come true... there was no coffee. only spiced "milk tea" was sitting on the breakfast table and after two large cups, i was still feeling drowsy and spaced-out. then our group met for a "check-in", which is basically a time for everyone to check themselves physically/emotionally/spiritually and report back to all the other girls, jake, bindu, and martin. as we went around the circle the first couple of days some people cried and talked about upset digestive systems, missing boyfriends and parents, and feeling overwhelmed. when it was my turn i said, "i know this might not seem like a big deal.. but it really is to me. there is NO COFFEE and i feel really out of it." and of course i also miss family, especially after hearing about the little get-together at kim and chris's new place.

besides the bugs, the layer of sweat that constantly covers my body, and only being able to get cups of coffee that are gone in two sips and taste like pure palm sugar, india has been wild and beautiful. yesterday we went to pondicherry, where we visited the sri aurobindo ashram, the lakshmi ashram, and all the clothing/art stores on the main streets. sri aurobindo and the "mother" (the two founders of auroville) are buried in the sri aurobindo ashram, so it was interesting to see all their admirers meditating and praying by their resting places. we also were blessed by an elephant at the lakshmi temple.. although i didn't get blessed officially because i tried to pet the elephant as he lifted his trunk to touch my head and he got distracted, haha.

the street vendors and beggars were WILD. some ladies approach you and physically push/elbow you until you notice them or give them some kind of response. lots of men followed us with mini chess boards, necklaces, and other trinkets, waiting to get a reaction from one of the many American girls filing down the busling alleyways. as i walked around the crumbling buildings and roads, i couldn't help but feel that it looked like the end of modern industrialization/mainstream product production. i know this is not the case, as india is becoming more industrialized each year, but it felt like the crumbling structures represented perhaps my expectations of india. not that my expectations are crumbling.. but that i expected a certain conquest of industrialization/modernization to exist since farming is still huge in india and many trades are still common. therefore the buildings represented what i expected in india. i don't know if that makes sense.. it is hard for me to explain.

anyways, the difference between the dress of men and women was quite evident as well. quite a few men walked around in tight, embroidered jeans and flashy t-shirts. almost all the women however wore saris and jasmine flowers hung from their pinned back hair. much more traditional and BEAUTIFUL! in the stores, everyone knew english and some people knew french as well. it seemed that most of the guys spoke more english and the women were less willing to speak with us. it is this way even with the local tamils who live in our village and the living routes community. kalai and nandu (spelling correct?), the guys who sleep above our bikes at night, have been slowly teaching us some basic tamil phrases and we have been helping them with their english grammar in return. gandimathy (spelling correct??!) and the other woman who cleans the Joy family's house seem more hesistant to interact with us though. for the most part (not all), women in auroville who are native indians are less willing to smile and shoot the shit with us so far..

the other people who live on "our" little compound is the Joy family. there is jason, laura, and jason's son and daughter. oh!- and they have two puppies and kittens as well! anyways, we played a variation of the game called "mafia" with them this past friday and it was really great. we played with two new aurovillians who were more our age, laslo (russian?) and nikolai (english), and the entire Joy family. laslo kind of looked like a pirate and nikolai was a very sweet guy who was dressed in quite unique attire. hopefully we'll continue our mafia and cookie time this friday as well because there was bushels of good, warm familial energy there!

this afternoon i did my laundry outside, read some of Siddhartha, made more tea, and talked to the other girls about why i was starting to feel a little overwhelmed by india. nothing major- i just felt a little homesick after reading e-mails and facebook messages from people. also, everyone pretty much agrees that it feels like we've been here and known each other for months, which is overwhelming to consider with the realization that this is only the first week. so at this point i am just looking forward to getting into more of a routine and starting my service learning project/research projects.

anyways, tonight we are celebrating jo and jenny's birthdays at the tibetan pavilion with a movie and hopefully some cake of the non-chocolate variety. :) and tomorrow morning we start tai chi with our smiley, perpetually shirtless instructor bright and early at 6:15 AM! wooooo. oh jeez... sans coffee. should be good though. i am excited to visit more places in auroville (like solitude farm!!) this week and to spend more time with people around the village.

in sum: there is no good coffee in india. with our loud dance music (MGMT, the knife, and grateful dead often blast through our small, tinny laptop speakers), hula hoops, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and tie dye tees we are slowly creating a lively, American microcosm of joyful, progessive energy in auroville!

to everyone who reads this: i hope you are well and smiling while reading this. much love!

vanekum/bonjour/hello india!

i arrived in india sunday night after an almost nine hour flight from germany. what an experience it was being on a plane with multiple floors, sections (smoking section), and personalities! i sat behind a little Indian girl that we will call shiva, "the destroyer" (of my sleep). after sleep deprivation and melatonin pills lulled me into a fitful sleep, shiva would start to whine and then would erupt into a full-blown, high pitched scream. to my left sat a svelte, older Belgian man who told me about the company he was starting up in chennai, india. when there were lulls in our conversation, he would crack his knuckles all the time and fall asleep to blaring techno music. everything about the flight (even down to the food- spiced yogurt and pickled mangos) was interesting to me.

when i stepped out of chennai's airport the air smelled faintly like asparagus, there were cars honking and almost running me over, Indian men were sleeping on the sidewalk outside the exit, and i knew that i was not in fuckin' kansas anymore.

on our way to auroville, about 11 of us crammed into a bus straight out of the 70s and peered out at the foreign scenes flashing by our windows with wide eyes. we stopped at india's answer to the 7-11 at around 2 a.m. for some INCREDIBLE chai tea. seriously. .we got freshly prepared chai tea at 2 a.m. on the side of the highway. the building was an open-air structure, with no bathroom, and bananas and foreign looking packages hanging from the ceiling and walls.

when we drove into auroville the tree stands were so thick that the bus could barely fit down the road to the "college guest house". my room at the college guest house has solid walls, a roof made of palm leaves woven together, a loft made of wood and strong fibers to latch everything together, and large mosquito nets to guard you from the salamanders, cockroaches, mosquitos, and other lovely creatures that come out at night. so far i haven't woken up to anything crawling up my leg, but i'm sure that'll happen at some point.

the showers have no roofs either! you can shower under the blue sky/stars with the salamanders and fireflies and it is always a gorgeous experience despite the ice cold water (which has refreshing in the humid 90 degree weather...). and the toilets are.... quite rustic. welcome to the land of holes in the ground and no toilet paper. just water and your left hand, my friend. oh boy.

people here are so open and charismatic! in brief, there is:
1. bindu: the fiesty, smiley native indian who stays with us in our little community
2. jake: the chill, american tai chi instructor
3. martine: the smiley austrian instructor
4. ross: the wild australian who told us stories about doing drugs with the prime minister's daughter and likes to play games all day, everyday
and so many more wonderful people that i will try to describe better as the semester goes on.....

within seconds of arriving, i could feel india's boldness and brilliance. i don't think love at first sight applies to my situation now, but it certainly feels like love at first intuition?

at home.

this weekend will be my last in good ol' burlington, vt for several months.

as sunday draws nearer, this realization sinks in more and more everyday. today i woke up feeling rested and happy, but then i started packing up my bedroom. i found concert tickets from this summer, notes and dj setlists scribbled on various pieces of paper (i am constantly writing myself reminders),

 helmets, books, and articles of clothing left by friends, and lots and lots of beer bottle caps.

i managed not to cry. i called friends and family to keep my spirits lifted. i listened to "easy now" by freddie stevenson. and then i created this blog.

for the past several days/weeks i have just been avoiding packing and finalizing things because (although i hate to admit it) i indeed harbor some fear about leaving for india. what keeps me going is the overwhelming gut feeling that india will be chaotically beautiful and provide me with a better perspective on what others outside of the u.s. view to be a better way of living (ie: stripped of a few technological and frivolous layers). i am exceedingly curious/excited about india and that is why my fears about gender limitations in india, mosquito-transmitted illnesses, and leaving a place i love have been continuously trumped these past couple of weeks.

india is going to be (insert long list of positively fantastic adjectives).

-erin