how culturally inappropriate would it be to watch "superbad" on the train in front of this muslim family?

hampi is without a doubt a place to mark on your "places i need to see before i kick the bucket" list.

hampi is covering with mountains/hills that are composed of large boulders that look like they are about to fall off and end it all for you, but they actually have just been chillin' there for thousands of years. the boulders are supposedly some of the oldest exposed surfaces on the EARTH. one of the first things we saw when we stepped foot off our tiny motorboat, which took us to our island, was a bunch of guys with long-ass dreads and bouldering pads.

our guest house was filled with israeli, austrian, english, german, and many other tourists of countless nationalties. it was basically a back-packers paradise. the dining areas were open-air rooms with mattresses and pillows on the floor and low-lying tables to eat off of while you lounged on your mattress and watched the sun set behind the mountains and palm trees around you. not to mention the israelis and austrians would pass bongs around the tables before breakfast and dinner. they even passed them to our teachers (who look like they could be our age), who waved them off as some of the girls made puppy dog eyes at them, lips quivering and all.

at the houses around the guest houses people throw little get-togethers wherever there are ovens to make pizza and stoves to brew tea. people sell beer and pizzas out of their houses to make money and just lounge around. i spent one night at a spot across from our guest house and as we sat around by candlelight, people gathered with their drums and guitars for some jam sessions. it was probably the first time i got to hang out with people just my age and talk to others traveling around india. everyone was eager to share their stories and it was cool how people from england, israel, and also northern india found their way to hampi. one israeli guy sold remote control helicopters and other random toys in a mall in maryland during the christmas season for about a month or two and saved more than enough money to travel around india for like.. a year.

after soaking up the excitement of the social scene, i then went to the ecodaya wildlife sanctuary island. our group of 12 started out after breakfast on our third day in hampi, hiking about half an hour and crossing a river in a boat that looked like a giant, circular basket until we reached the main building run by a german guy named horst and his brother, uli (spelling?). the first thing we did was climb up a mountain of boulders to catch a nice, all-encompassing view of the island and form a better map in our minds of where everything was located. after climbing up and jumping between boulders that made some girls cry they were so high up, we reached the top and at that point i think the risks became worth it to all of us. it was so beautiful i started crying. i can safely say that it was probably the most beautiful place i've ever laid eyes on. all around us were huge boulder mountain ridges and you could see the city of hampi's main temple towering over the more developed part of the town. i just stood there, tearing up and trying to take in every little gorgeous detail of the rocks and trees that made the island so magnificent. i felt overwhelmed once again by india's beauty.

then we chose our caves. mine was called sunset cave and was on a separate ridge than a lot of the others.

that night i got sick with a stomach ache and a fever. i woke up and was totally dismayed at first. there i was on the first day of my solo and i was feeling like shit. after an hour of feeling bad for myself i downed some painkiller/fever reducers and made the hike back to the island. that night after eating a last meal of fruit salad we all set out for our caves, the sun setting as we made our mosquito net and straw mat beds. the first thing i did was place seashells in front of my cave- for some reason it was comforting to have them "guarding" the entrance to my cave, which felt so foreign to me.

the first night i woke up to monkeys running at my mosquito net. at first i was scared in the nearly pitch black darkness- what does one do when monkeys run up to their mosquito net and try to figure out what the hell is sleeping in their caves? after quickly convincing myself that monkeys are small and that i'd only ever seen them eating bananas and their own shit, i calmed down, made a raucous/some noise, and eventually they lost interest in me. i found some comfort in gazing up through the gaps in boulders above me, through which i could see the dark blue night sky and the bright little stars. after scaring off the monkeys and star gazing, i slept surprisingly well under that large boulder.

the next day i barely left the area in front of my cave. i watched the white clouds drift across the sky and imagined all the people i missed where looking up at the same sky. i sat on rocks that i thought represented different people in my life and thought about how much i appreciated each person. chris' rock was a medium sized one by the tree in front of my cave, mom's was a little ways out by the ravine, and dad's was by the edge of my cave's little "courtyard". i made little rock circles, watched the birds and lizards wander around, practiced chants i'd learned in auroville, and thought about stupid things and surprisingly significant things all day long. my mind was all over the place. at the end of the day i climbed up some boulders and watched the sunset on top of my cave. after the orange and pink faded out of the sky and the sun was completely swallowed up by the mountains in front of me, i made a small fire with twigs and grasses i had gathered earlier. then i slept through most of my last night in the cave- waking up to the occasional crash of thunder or wave of chills rushing over my body. in the morning i burned my last stick of incense in front of my cave, packed up my sweaty t-shirts and other essentials, lingered to watch the sun grow a bit higher in the sky, and then made my way back down the mountain. the first people i saw were alyssa and laura. they both were sitting on the covered rooftop of the island's one common space/building and we exchanged giant smiles of relief and happiness at seeing another human being!

the rest of my time at hampi was spent recounting more of my experiences with sheep herders, curious looking bugs, and dealing with being all alone during my solo and talking more with the people back at our guest house. even though almost everyone (save two people), including me, got terribly sick in hampi (the rivers are some of the most polluted in india apparently) i still look back at that time fondly. with that said, i think the couple of girls who are now covered in full body rashes may think differently. all in all, the island was beautiful, but dangerous.

i've been back in auroville for the past six days now and things are a bit of a mess here. a cyclone hit this week and tore down about twenty huge trees at our guest house. one smashed through our bathroom, tearing down the new walls, and another demolished the flimsy hut behind our library. luckily the storm has passed, no one was hurt, and the owners of our guest house are getting help cleaning the place up. for the next couple of weeks i'll be staying at evergreen- which is a community i don't actually know much about. mayana, crystal, and i, along with four girls from the other u.s. living routes group, will be helping with the deep ecology workshops and enjoying what auroville's "green belt" has to offer. solar power, wind-powered water pump, and more intense communal living- here i come!

some other things i've learned while traveling:
watching "superbad" on your teacher's laptop on an indian train is awkward and probably culturally inappropriate in most cases.
packaged "pineapple" flavored cookies in india are radioactive green colored and do not sit well on an empty stomach.
monks that live in huts on the top of holy mountains are quite hospitable. chai and bananas are to be expected.
if an indian women sits on your bed on a train in the middle of the night while you are sleeping to wait for the next stop- it's perfectly acceptable. move over. a little to left please.
the guy screaming through the aisles on the train is trying to sell you chai- don't be alarmed, even though it's like.. 6 A.M.
there aren't many american tourists in india.
most people think coffee only comes in a package labeled "nestle instant coffee".

i still feel like i haven't even scratched the surface of the what india has to offer. and neither have the backpackers who have been traveling around here for years. there is always something surprising around the corner- like a cyclone that takes out the power and water for several days or a huge community of hippies in the middle of nowhere. there is always a lot of hidden beauty to dig out amongst the sketchy shop owners and waste-filled roads (and i say that with a lot of respect for india).

but i miss the u.s. more and more! i can't wait to be back for the holidays!

i'm writing tonight on the night before our community leaves for hampi. it's 11 pm and i can't even imagine falling asleep in the near future- too much caffeine and anticipation has built up in my system for that. tonight we ventured to bangalore, a MASSIVE and chaotic city in the state of karnataka. at the end of the night i found myself sipping a diet coke (i never crave soda at home, but here i have started to for some reason), downing a cappuccino, and then eating a scoop of ice cream. with the trip to the wilderness of india on my mind, i felt the need to indulge in food delicacies i probably wouldn't get a hold of again for a while. this also includes pickles. and soft sub rolls. my dinner consisted of straight up caffeine and sugar and now i'm wired.

right now we are at fireflies ashram, about 20 km from bangalore. fireflies is an ashram run by a teddy bear of a man named siddhartha, who is one of the warmest, gentlest people i have had the pleasure of meeting. the ashram is non-secular and encourages only one guru- the earth. there is only one temple/shrine-like area on the property and it is of sita, who is one of the forms of the goddess, AKA lakshmi. she is regarded as the daughter of mother earth and is celebrated here for her earthiness. the ashram land is adorned with countless statues carved on-site by locals and residents of the ashram. there is one large carving of shiva with a plant shaped as his trident (earthy take on shiva), one with a beautiful rumi(a sufi poet) quote, and another half-finished one of gandhi.

it is here that i have played countless rounds of games like phase ten (last night's game was intense- someone almost got stabbed with a pencil and everyone apparently heard us yelling/goading each other on) and scrabble, raided siddhartha's library of obscure and indian literary gems (i'm reading about 1. predicting weather and 2. the teachings of don juan), practiced yoga on the rooftops of several buildings, learned the best bollywood movie dance moves, ate wonder bread and black tea for breakfast, and led (with the help of alyssa and nealy) a full moon ceremony. under the light of the full moon and some small candles on thursday night we gathered around sita's statue to talk about the lunar cycles, vision quests in hampi, and labyrinths as metaphors for sorting out issues in our lives. alyssa drew a giant, tree-shaped labyrinth in chalk on the floor, nealy talked about hindu and pagan lunar cycles and symbols, and i explained the importance of vision quests (a tradition in some native american cultures, like the lakotas) and led a guided meditation. i wasn't really sure it went well- people were quiet a lot of the time and my voice shook sometimes as i read the meditation scipt aloud, but everyone seemed appreciative in the end. siddhartha patted me on the back and thanked me and smiles flashed over the faces of several of those quiet people in the circle. in the end it seemed like it was a successful first attempt at a full moon celebration.

besides this, i guess it was KIND OF fun to climb a mountain in tiru. actually... it kicked ass. it took us about five hours in total to climb mount arunachala, which is believed to be the body of shiva. we vowed on the way up to remain silent for the entire ascent, which worked well for the first half... until i irreverently broke my vow when we reached the steepest, rockiest part of the ascent. i wiped the sweat from my face and let out a string of exhausted curses. from then on i had to talk to those climbing with me for some support, because that dash up the moment was quite breathtaking in more than one sense. it felt soooo good to reach the top though. i still felt it was worth it even after the scorching hot sunshine that zapped the energy out of me during the descent.

as i sit here i am having trouble recounting what has gone on over the past couple of weeks. we leave this place of relaxation and idealism tomorrow to go to the place i have anxiously awaited the most. hampi sits on a golden pedestal surrounded by kittens and warm mugs of dark roast coffee in my mind. some part of me keeps thinking, "what if it isn't all that great?" this part is about the size of my left big toe, but it's still there and my body becomes aware of its function from time to time. i realize this discomfort is healthy, but it's hard because i just want to get moving when i feel this way- and i know i have a long day of travel ahead of me. tomorrow we'll be traveling overnight by train, riding in motorboats across a river, and then hiking out with very little materials to an island. we will stay on that island for a week, during which we will do our solo. i can't wait to get there. the larger part of me knows i will glow with excitement once i finally reach the place i've been dreaming of for months now.

this party will either be fun or... REALLY fun.

at about 10:00 AM, indian time, our community all heard the news. i was sitting in the dining area, munching on a late breakfast of muesli and yogurt and asking the girls with laptops for the electoral counts, when i was shocked awake by an ecstatic scream from the library:
"OBAMA WON!!!!"

we all ran to the library to find Michelle, Cassie, Nealy, Jenny, Alyssa, and others huddled around a laptop, watching the grainy live CNN.com news feed. as the announcer declared Obama as the official (sort of projected..) winner, tears of joy welled up in my sleepy eyes. i looked up at Cassie and Michelle and they were teary as well- then we all broke into full blown tears, smiling and cheering all the while. it's not as if I didn't have a TON of faith in Obama being victorious today- because i almost didn't even question it- it was just an overwhelmingly joyous feeling as CNN scanned the various parties going on all over the world. yhey showed people just like us raising up their victorious arms and letting out whole-hearted screams of relief. it felt so good. the tension surrounding the seven continents just seemed to burst and dissipate.

the announcer, before introducing McCain, then said, "everyone will surely remember where they were on this historic moment." we all looked at each other and laughed, joking about sending a live feed to CNN showing the celebration that was happening in southern india. eight American girls, one Austrian man, one Dutch guy, and two Indians were crying, smiling, cheering, and dancing for Barack Obama. so good. who knows what we can go after January 20th, right? i'm staying hopeful.

in other news, i have been trying to get to Bangalore a day early to see Infected Mushroom, an Israeli trance group. despite presenting several travel options to my mentors- the plan has been officially nixed by Living Routes. i am frustrated and disappointed with the program, to be honest. if the plan doesn't interfere with my academics (it'd be on the day we're leaving for thiruvanamalai anyway) and i can even travel with Living Routes faculty to Bangalore, i am not sure why it has not been approved still. i understand that (under the rules in the handbook) since i cannot find a "mentor"/chaperone to come with me, a 20-year old adult, to the concert itself, i am being told by the faculty and my teachers that i cannot go. i get that, but i still don't know why that is required in every instance.

the impression i have gathered is that Living Routes is worried about several more people coming with me and how if any of them party/drink at the show it might tarnish their reputation. first of all, that's not what we are going for (i want to go to see an amazing band that i love) and, second of all, even if some people did want to go with me who chose to do that- that is their choice and we should have that freedom anyway. I do not respect the decision the faculty came to (although i am not holding it against my teachers here- i am not going to create tension within the community) and am not at peace with losing this amazing opportunity to travel "independently" even for one @#*! day. don't think i am letting this affect my excitement for traveling- i'm not, after all there are so many amazing things still going on here in the program. it is just the feeling of being a liability that frustrates me. i do not understand how that can be so. especially when the program even states in the handbook: " [we] cannot monitor or control all the daily personal decisions, choices, and activities of individual participants". it feels like i am a five year old and when i ask my parents why i cannot do something, the only response i get is "because". i am moving on though.. i said my piece to the faculty and to the program director and now i'm just going to roll with it. Infected Mushroom will play again and i will have an amazing time i'm sure in Bangalore anyway..

in other news:
we had a kickass halloween party on saturday night. some of the costumes included: Bob Ross(TV- painter guy), a bunch of grapes, Jasmine from Aladdin, a bird, Shiva (Nealy painted herself blue. no joke.), and a flower garden (me). we had a "five elements dance class"- during which, at the end of the class, breaking the golden silence, i let out a huge fart. and then crystal and i preceded to laugh for five hours straight..

this friday we leave for a three week trip to thiru, bangalore, and hampi. in hampi we will go to an island called ecodaya, where we will do our 2-3 day solos.

the solo will be tough for sure- no food and total solitude (leavin' the i-pods and discmans at home..), but it is definitely what i am looking forward to the most. there will be waterfalls, preserved wildlife sanctuaries/habitats, and plenty of time to do my own thing. i'm ready.

if i don't get to talk to everyone before i leave- i love you and hope to talk to you when i return!